And The Gods Made Jimi

Blog,Writing — Tags: — admin @ 4:45 pm

I recently wrote a joke-essay about absurd rock and roll worship called Why The Ramones Should Be Crowned The Best Rock And Roll Band Ever or something to that effect. One hook was the idea of letting go of any pretext of living in a non-Roman empire and just say that the best band is who all dies first. Let’s not forget what rock and roll was, the phrase “hope I die before I get old” and the culture its sentiment codified, and quasi-religious FM orgies of weekend-long praise does not a God make.

That being said, practicing what I preach, and just following the point through, I am both happy and sad to announce the winner is The Jimi Hendrix Experience. I mean no disrespect to family/friends of any member of TJHE and point to the context of what originated this topic. The truth is, based on the previous blog and what I suggested we do in regards to the ever-raging invisible Holy War of Rock, I think we should bow down. If Elvis Presley is God (ranked at 100% dead), this makes The Jimi Hendrix Experience into Jesus Christ for me. And why not? It makes sense. You can put your faith into that. I’ve accepted this as truth now.

What does this suggest about The Beatles, The Who, The Rolling Stones…The Christians, The Jews, The Hindus? (not respectively)

What about Black Sabbath, Velvet Underground, The Stooges…The Satanists, The Taoists, The Atheists? (respectively that time!)

I say we listen to this silly parallel as hidden messages from the Gods, the real ones from well before recorded time of which every human culture has record of. The great Question Of Rock And Roll Existence is finally being answered concretely. Other Questions like, “Why do humans allow war” or “How can there be a Heaven or Hell without being alive?” should have as fool-proof a generative answer matrix as How To Canonize The Rock Saints!

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